The $26 NARS velvet Lip Glides
You know what happens when you say to Siri, “Yo, Siri, take me to the nexus of liquid lipstick and gloss!” and you hop into your Honda Civic (that you lovingly refer to as “Murray”), and Siri keeps saying nonsensical things like, “Keep right, then keep right,” and even though you’re thinking, “Siri, you WACK, girl,” you listen to her anyway, because you have a feeling that you’ll still end up someplace good?

And then you roll up to this little slice of NARS heaven known as the NARS velvet Lip Glides, and you think to yourself, thank YOU, LAWD, FOR HOOP EARRINGS, PIZZA SLICES and THE new NARS velvet LIP GLIDES?

ANNONS

The NARS velvet Lip Glide doe-foot
Yup, NARS did it again.

Just plunge an arrow — and don’t even bother with the bow — straight into my makeup-loving heart, because these liquid lipsticks (Or are they glosses? It’s hard to tell…) are true love. Like, I could dance with them at a wedding, and I’d see our entire future together.

Wearing NARS velvet Lip Glide in Danceteria
Basically, these are… Honestly, I can’t figure out how to classify them. They feel like medium-weight, non-sticky glosses similar to the MAC Cremesheens, but they pack a lot of pigment and look like liquid lipsticks…except that they have a creamy finish, so they don’t dry up like liquid lipsticks, which implies that your lips don’t end up looking like a cat butt.

ANNONS

Cats & Makeup Sweatshirt ??

$ 42

Shoppa nu

They start off moderately shiny and stay that way for about an hour before wearing down to a soft matte finish. I find that I typically have to reapply them after about three hours.

Wearing NARS velvet Lip Glide in Bound

Lately, everything makes me think of food, and that includes these lipstick/lipgloss hybrid thingamabobs. each time I sloosh one across my lips with the soft, flocked doe-foot (nice touch, François, baby), I think, “Mmm… Vanilla ice cream…” and before I know it, I’m hella hungry for vanilla ice cream, which is what these taste and smell like to me, but it’s faint. If you aren’t a sweets person (which I completely don’t get… how could YOU NOT BE into SWEETS!?), it’s very subtle.

They come in 13 shades that range from nudes to reds to plums and browns, and they’re $26 each.

Don’t even ask me to pick a fave, because there are just so many…but if I had, had to…I’d choose Bound (the rosy pink) or Danceteria (the fuchsia). They’re the ones that keep finding their way onto my lips and into my purse.

Pinks all day, errr day, baby cakes.

They’re kind of pricey at $26, but I still think you’ll like them. Make your way down to a NARS boutique or the NARS site starting on September 1 to take a closer took. Hail a cab, Uber it — heck, take a horse and buggy, because I think they’re that boss.

Or…wait until October 1, which is when they also arrive at Sephora and department stores.

The NARS velvet Lip Glides

Stripped, a beige pink

Unlaced, a nude pink

Playpen, a pink coral

Bound, a rosy pink

Danceteria, a fuchsia

La main Bleue, a rich berry

Mineshaft, a poppy red

No. 54, a raspberry red

Le Palace, a deep cherry red

Unspeakable, a garnet

Toy, a deep aubergine

Area, a rich chestnut

Deviant, a deep burgundy (exclusive to NARS boutiques and narscosmetics.com)

Speaking of NARS…

Should you happen to have an extra 50 million tacos in your bank account, François is selling his private island in Bora Bora!

For the record, if you happen to purchase that island, homegirl would love an invitation. Snälla du?

ANNONS

Also, there’s a new NARS book coming out next month that I’m looking forward to, and if I ever get to meet François again and can ask him to autograph it, I will try my hardest to NOT sing, “Did you ever know that you’re my hero?” from Wind below My Wings.

Din vänliga stadsdel charm missbrukare,

Karen

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